Dear Prime Minister

Well! What to write to you about today...the IDS thing is turning into an Edwardian farce..."A Benefit CUT?!"

The business with Turkey provides column-inches daily, Europe hasn't gone away...indeed - it's getting closer! The recent Budget's coming unravelled like a golf-ball cut in half by a schoolboy's pocket-knife, as is; err...your party!

And it's on that last point I want to ruminate today; did you see all this coming when you surprised yourself last May by so successfully blaming the Labour Party for a global depression which was actually down to rotten bwankers (why are Iceland sending theirs to jail and the US fining theirs while we reward ours?) and blaming the Liberal's for your reactionary and socially destructive, purely political, austerity policies?

I did. I told all the weeping 'lefties' on-line/on the Facebook; all those blubbing on the Labour page, swearing on Chucky-Mark McGowan's page, rending their sack-cloth and ashes on the 38Degrees posts or ululating in Morning on Mr. Corbyn's page that you wouldn't last 18 Months!

I fleshed-out my piece of mumbo-jumbo soothsaying with the details that you would be facing a vote of no confidence within a year and a half, that you would lose that vote, in no small part due to the number of SNP members in the House - a legacy of all the Westminster mob stopping the Scots from doing what they were about to do - democratically - and that a General Election was due long before your term was up.

Nothing that's happened in the last few days (all three of them!) has changed my mind, and the likelihood of a total collapse of your government (and party) is stronger now than ever. The mileage you've had out of the splits in Labour, the howling and braying at PMQ's, the smug self-satisfaction and vacuous claims to a 'mandate' while all along: you're in bed with a nest of vipers.... those 'bastards' on the back-bench huh? But - at least you've got the media on side haven't you? Don't count on it!

IDS was a failure years ago (he was banging on about his Army career again at the weekend...what a fuckwit), he's not right in the head (in my own personal opinion) and should never have been given a front-bench job, so that grenade has left you firmly holding the pin...you've just dropped the pineapple!

Europe should never have been allowed to become the issue it has...two pins, two pineapples! Scotland? I blame Tony 'The Thacherite' Blair for that one, but he handed you the pin! Middle East...another pin...refugees, bankers...but where are the handles? You haven't got a handle on any of 'em, Prime Minister, just a handful of pins.

So - good luck* in PMQ's this Wednesday, should be fun! Good luck* on the Budget debate, should be interesting, good luck with the European Referendum (I do hate being on the same side there!) and good-luck* in the forthcoming General Election...November, do you think? Or earlier?

*Not really; I hope your ever-present, inadequate cockwomblery will see you keel-hauled, naked, on the World's Stage, by the opposition, electorate, media and your own, execrable back-bench!

Yours etc...