Dear Prime Minister

I notice that Mr. Ian Duncan Smith (or Dunked in Shit as he is increasingly, humorously referred to on the Facebook!) has suggested you have a low opinion of the British?

On one level I don't really disagree with him, but then neither has he. Indeed; the party you represent seem to have a low opinion of everyone else on the planet, bar those who didn't go to a top private school, or who aren't the proprietors of a newspaper, or course!

 

But on another level one has to ask what is the man behind 'Betsygate', who has lied about his education, lied about his military career err…'activity', who lies to the Parliamentary All-party Select Committees on work, pensions and welfare just about every time he's in front of them and lies to the House about his budget, Universal Benefits, welfare sanctions and the like every time he opens his little lizard mouth, still doing on the front bench?

That he is - in my own personal opinion - a sociopath, a failed leader of your party (less than three years in the job) and a man who seems to exist in the higher echelons of society purely off the back of his wife and her father's money, makes him the last person anyone should be taking advise from, especially on a subject as important as the entire near-to-medium term future of Britain.

Like several of his co-conspirators (most of them?) he seems to think getting out of Europe will return Britain to some halcyon era of power and domination, with a healthy economy fed by the coffers and resources of the rest of the world. Whilst also continuing to trade with Europe as if we were never in it, nor had left it!

Can someone remind him why we joined Europe?

We were on our uppers, we were running out of friends, our 'commonwealth' was increasingly run by dictators who wanted little to do with us and were not buying school equipment or locomotives from us, favouring the stockpiling of aid-money in Swiss banks. America (our 'special-relationship' friend) had threatened to blow us out of the water at Suez and was far too busy killing 'Gooks' abroad and 'N*****s' and Hippies at home to give a shit what was happening "across the pond".

The Trade Unions were out of control, no one was buying our rusty little cars and those bits of the Commonwealth which might have stood-by us were asking serious questions about the sacrifices we had extracted from them in the first half of the century, at Gallipoli and Dieppe and - increasingly - trading with their neighbours, rather than us.

We were desperate to join the EEC (as it then was), and it has been good to us. The idea that we will return to some idyllic time of plenty, by exiting the very organisation that helped rebuild us is pie-in-the-sky thinking and a huge lie, only to be expected of IDS and his ilk.

We were a navy power…we now have less than 30 major surface fighting/line vessels, and the best of them, the newest, most modern of them have recently been declared not fit for purpose, needing a massive refit and surgery which will entail cutting huge holes in their hulls!

The whole party of you Con.-artists (and a fair few of Labour's 'Blair'ites') have a poor opinion of us, the citizens, and if you scrape-through this madness with a win, you will need to sack the lot of them - the same day.

Nasty little piggy-eyed 'Dunked', teacher-killer Gove, justice-killer Greayling, not-Ron Howard (the other ex-leader, another failure!), 'Bojo'*, Priti Patel, Bill 'who's he' Cash and redwood (both already moulding on the backbenches)  - the lot of them; they are the real 'Nasty Party' dinosaurs, and they'll have to go.

 

They'll have you out in five minutes if they win...

Yours etc…

*It's a measure - is it not - of the level of debate in our society that the mayor err…Buffoon in Chief of our capital city has been reduced to a 'celeb' style abbreviation by most of the media? His fault I fear…the Mayor's that it?